Perfect Partners: Stop Worrying + Stop Thinking the Worst
How to stop worrying today
The word 'worrying' comes from an old English word meaning to 'kill by
strangulation' and that's how it feels. And stopping worrying can be hard -
trying not to worry simply doesn't work.
As Mark Twain said: 'I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never
happened'. Constant chronic worrying takes the very soul out of life, exhausts
you and paralyzes your you - preventing you from actually solving problems.
The purpose of worry
Worrying has a purpose but it's a limited one. It's one tool but not the only
one. If a loved one has a heart problem but is piling on the salt, or if we
smell burning from the car engine then worrying can be useful.
These types of worries should result in problem solving (encouraging lower salt
consumption or taking the car to be checked out). But when you worry about stuff
that just may be or you worry about things in the future that may or may not
happen then you are over-using the tool of worrying to a self destructive
degree.
And worrying often becomes a habit - some people even say they worry if they
have nothing to worry about!
Worrying is the misuse of the imagination
Your imagination is nature's tool to get you envisaging better futures and new
possibilities. Worrying is the misuse of this powerful tool. Worrying is
effectively you making bad stuff up, believing it and feeling bad!
And worriers all think in the same way: in all or nothing, or black or white
terms... 'This is going to be a total disaster, a catastrophe a complete
nightmare, I will be totally ruined '
Stop worrying and start living
When you stop worrying you notice many things. Firstly you feel a lot better
day-to-day and you achieve more things. Secondly you don't try to second guess
the future - assuming bad stuff all the time - you relax with not knowing how
things are going to turn out. Instead you assume that whatever happens you'll
handle it. And thirdly, you'll have more fun!
When you stop worrying you can still be cautious and concerned but only about
the stuff that you can actually influence.
What you'll notice from this download is that worrying isn't about what you
think but what you feel. Hypnosis is the perfect tool for getting you relaxed
around thoughts that used to make you feel anxious.
Download Stop Worrying now and start living.
Stop Thinking the Worst
'They haven't phoned back they must have gone off me!'
'My boss didn't seem so friendly this morning I'm going to be fired!'
'My (fill in the blank) is 5 minutes late maybe they've been run over by a car
or perhaps they are having an affair!
If any of this sounds familiar it's because you are used to automatically think
the worst in situations and expect bad things to happen.
Expecting the worst can be a good thing…when it's a tool we use rather than a
tyrant that uses and abuses us.
It's one thing to sometimes have a 'contingently plan' in your head like what to
do if things go wrong. This can be a useful way of future planning when it's
appropriate.
But if you find that you often or always expect the worst in the future then
this session is for you.
Always assuming the worst is going to happen is also known as catastrophising.
It is a form of negative and also 'black or white/all or nothing' thinking.
When you always expert the worst especially about things that are important to
you like relationships or work then you are using a type of depressive thinking
style.
It's all or nothing (black or white) and extreme because catastophisaiotn comes
from your 'emotional brain' which works in an 'on/off' black or white 'fight or
flight' way. All the shades of grey realistic thinking which gets pushes
clumsily aside by the emotional brain.
Expecting the worst actually has more to do with feeling than thinking. The
negative emotion, usually fear and despondency shape your thoughts.
Emotion causes extreme thinking
Because emotions deal in absolutes (scared people describe themselves as being
completely terrified and depressed people may describe themselves as total
failures) fear can make us expect the 'absolute worst' rather than say 'some
things going well and some things going not so well.' This type of thinking is
too moderate for the emotional brain although more in tune with reality.
Your expectations rely on how you use your imagination.
Expectations always occur through the imagination. When you imagine something
you are using a kind of self-hypnosis. So people who expert the worst are
basically hypnotically programming themselves to feel anxious, downcast and have
bad experiences.
Expecting the worst, catastophising is otherwise known as misusing your
imagination.
The imagination is a powerful tool nature has given us to help us create better
futures. Like any tool it can be misused and some people spend their whole lives
misusing it creating depressing negative expectations.
When you become generally calmer in life your perception becomes more reasonable
and words like complete, total, absolutely are used less. You'll also feel like
using your imagination more positively around future events.
Or you'll find you can even decide not to use your imagination at all. So
sometimes you don't even need to expect the best you can just relax and leave a
'meaning vacuum' rather than desperately trying to 'fill in a meaning' for why
something has or hasn't happened before you really know. For example if someone
doesn't return your call you don't actually know why that is-if you are calm you
can just relax with not knowing until such time as you do find out. You don't
have to expect the worst or the best-this is a much more comfortable way of
living.
Think about it. Catastrophists don't worry that their plane may be a little
delayed or that some parts of the flight may be less enjoyable than others etc
no they have to make it dramatic because emotions (because they are really there
for survival purposes) have to be dramatic. So it becomes not 'if the plane is
slightly delayed' but 'when I miss the plane and everyone ends up hating me
because I let them all down!' or if they are really 'good' at expecting the
worst: 'When my plane crashes!'
Expecting the worst and superstition.
Then again sometimes there is a superstitious element to expecting the worst in
situations. The feeling is that expecting things to go well is pushing their
luck or 'tempting fate' and that by expecting the worst all the time and
catastrophising and anticipating disasters they will never actually be
disappointed by the future.
Whew what a way to live!
The problem is that it's depressing and also creates more negative emotion and
pessimism.
For the vast majority of time disasters don't happen. Billions of people fly
each year and don't crash, but the response to this may be 'Yes but knowing my
luck….!' But think about it? How many disasters have you experienced? Are you
still alive? Even if you've had dozens of disasters you are still here so, in
fact, you have enormous luck!
Expecting realistic outcomes or (dare I say) the best outcomes, doesn't just
make you feel better it gives you other benefits too.
Expecting the best makes you an optimist and so instantly more attractive to
other people. Being optimistic helps your immune system boosts your happiness
levels and actually means you will be more likely to succeed in all areas
because you will have more determination and therefore try for longer because
deep down you'll believe things can go well.
Expecting the worst turns us into quitters.
Using your brain productively to create positive 'blueprints' for your future
experience will pay huge dividends in life because your brain tends to work
towards clear 'instructions' so they may as well be positive.
And even with things you can't control (such as whether your flight will be on
time) you can at least expect the best of yourself that whatever happens you'll
manage the situation. When you respond well to a bad situation then, in a way it
becomes a good situation.
This session will help you to use your imagination constructively around future
events letting you feel so much better and also perform more effectively in
life.
Download Stop Expecting the Worst now and give life a chance.
